It happens! It happens to all of us! No matter what we do the world seems against us. Everything that could go wrong, goes wrong especially in poker sometimes – we are alive but geeesh what a nightmare all the same. It is even more of a nightmare, dealing with domestic violence as crap unfolds in front of you!
When the world seems against me, which has happened a lot, I take it in my stride. I walk harder, faster, firmer to my desires. If someone tells me no, I try twice as hard. When I lose, I get back on the bike and go for a win. When I am sick, I rest for a little but carry on generally like I normally would. When finiances are rough, I work harder and play more poker to build them back up.
When my kids are unhappy as the world is stacking against them, I feel more sad then when it is against me. I show them my walk and my stride and tell them what I live with, what starving children globally live with and that things can only get better when they pace forwards.
I have had many moments of breakdown in the last 2 years, moments where I thought I was insane, when I was depressed, anxious and felt like giving up the battle in the world of poker. I felt like flipping burgers at McDonalds would be easier. Although I did cry, I do ask “why?” I did stop for a day or two, I got back to it and moved along more agressively on my poker path then before.
The world seems a lot more against me then for a lot of women. I have lived with domestic violence and it sux. Mental abuse gets you down, physical and emotional abuse tatter your soul that little bit more. I have not only had to fight my way in this world of poker but also in my own home. Poker is tough, tougher when you have mockery, attack, teasing and laughing from those thast you love about your goals, dreams and passions.
Playing a tournament while being verbally abused and emotionally attacked is tough. I don’t think there are many people that will know how tough it is. Playing when someone is disconnecting your internet or closing your laptop on you, tougher again obviously.
There is not a player in the world that can imagine what I have lived. What I do know, is I am still living, still striving, still moving forward regardless of horrific personal issues that I have faced. Women of the felt, step up! You do have the strength alike me, no matter how hard it seems. You can be the next big winner, sponsored pro, or poker success story. You just have to work on it; and work on it hard!
I once told a man that if he thinks he can scare me out of a hand or tilt me he is wrong. I am a tough cookie and it takes more then fear and words to throw me off my game. I have had more then the trash talk of a few little men to deal with as I have played. I have dodged projected objects and hands – human hands! All; while being called SL#T, B$TCH and …. you get the hint.
Again; when the world seems it’s against me, I move forward stronger. NEVER give up on your passion! Giving up on your passion is giving up on yourself and that’s not a life for anyone. I kept moving and am now a pro at FeltStars. You can work on it too! To join FeltStars – Click Here: -> FELTSTARS