It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, not even if you are a stay at home mum. It is likely you will be the victim of gossip. There is the casual and harmless gossip which can sometimes be true such as a new hair style, an engagement or a baby on the way. Then there is the harmful, cruel and destroying gossip that is far from the truth and can impact terribly on your life.

Having seriously horrible gossip spread about you can have more than just an impact on your personal pride. Some gossip I have heard is so bad that it can destroy families, friendships, careers and worst of all cause people to have suicidal tendencies through a subsequent loss of pride and fear of community responses; regardless of whether the gossip is true.

As a female poker player, a writer, a journalist, a radio broadcast and most importantly a mum, I don’t have time for gossip. I do not talk about people behind their back nor listen to tales. If I hear something and find it to be possibly true, I go direct to the person involved (this is part of my job – not for personal gain). I am pleased to say I am one of the last people to say horrible things about anyone; if i do: I would say it to their face and are usually only replying to someone else’s point of view or question. In example:

Q: “Do you like her?” My Answer “Not as a close friend, not much at all; I do not barely talk to her.” Q “Why not?” My Answer “Because she did wrong by me and I don’t find her a very nice person to say the least.” Q “What did she do?” My answer is always whatever someone did actually do TO ME.

Female poker players are more susceptible to gossip about sexual encounters and things that are not seen as very lady like. This is the case as they travel and usually with the boys. When the tournament they play in is over they are sure to have drinks and have fun! This doesn’t mean they are going to go flaunting with all the boys. Drinking, chatting, dancing, business and dining; these are more the things on my agenda. I cannot speak for everyone else though obviously.

Hanging with the guys is something that is fun in my eyes. They do not bicker or b#tch although can spread gossip from time to time alike women. What happens though when hanging with the guys starts taunting, terrible and destroying gossip that no women wants to hear about themselves; nor have her also innocent family and friends put up with or hear?

What do you do when the Female poker Player Gossip Line starts grape vine-ing along? Do you let it continue? Put a stop to it by confronting the gossip monger or by telling everyone, even her friends that she is trouble?

I have had a lot of smack talked about me and usually I laugh it off. I am not talking about stupid little things; I am talking gossip that has the potential to again destroy careers, friendships and families. To me this kind of behaviour where one would start such terrible rumours is not on, unacceptable and should be forbidden. Really what can you do about it though? I will leave that question with you!

By the title of this post, I don’t mean females poker players suffering due to jealousy or being jealous! I mean jealous men! There is a whole list of male particulars in my life that I can add to this list of jealousy. You name a man in my life, they appear jealous! I will re-phrase as they do not appear jealous. THEY EVIDENTLY ARE!

One would think that is a great thing for a female poker player right? Let me tell you wrong! Big, big wrong! If anyone thinks that a males jealousy isn’t going to affect your; poker lifestyle in anyway; you are extremely mislead. Sure; the argument can be made that another’s jealousy is only going to affect you if you let it. That argument is bogus!

Let me look of the list of jealous males that bring a curse to female poker players the reason for it and how it affects you.

Boyfriend: Jealous of all male fans, friends and poker colleagues. Being a professional female poker player and going to play live without your boyfriend by your side is a curse and a half. It is for me anyway; maybe it is only my boyfriend? He knows a lot of men would die for you and the phone calls never stop. Ring and advise of your where about or he rings nonstop. What a curse when you are trying to market as a female poker player!

Dad: Has always aimed for fame and fortune and is competing with you every which way he can. “Hello Daddy?? Where’s the support?” If your dad can’t support and congratulate you – who will? (Shown in picture). My dad was a very well known rocker in his early years; a back-up band for AC/DC throughout Sydney in their original days.

Ex Partners: Appear to find them less than happy with your success and will bring up any dirt they can. Bring the dirt out yourself! No need for panic or curse in the case that you do!

Male Poker Players: Many (not most) use every put down tactic they can to intimidate you and make you look like a retard. I may not be playing high stakes poker; but I am sponsored which many would love to be. It is a terrible feeling to read smack about you, AN UNFORGIVABLE movement by any man in poker in my opinion. Keep your smack to yourself. I can only assume that jealousy is a reason. If you say it isn’t I ask why you are talking about me as much as the big guns – am I on your mind sunshine?

Male Friends: Work their butts off day in day out; a ton of them hard labour, others long hours in an office. Need I say more?

Anyway; how does this affect your game of poker? Well; if you don’t take it to the table it won’t. This is something I need to learn to do! When it comes to poker business and personal life though – there is no doubt whatsoever it affects you! Being torn down by jealous men IS a curse. When someone finds a solution to end it forever I would greatly appreciate a heads-up on it!

So, you’re a mother, a partner, a nurse, a doctor, a vet, a cleaner, a taxi cab driver, a hair dresser, a cook. You’re everything! You’re the lady of the house! You are expected to know everything, do everything and be everything. Thank god for vacations right?

You finally get away from the online poker scene (which you do love but play it so often as a job that playing live is so much more fun!) and go to play a live game. This is like a vacation! You pack your things, you pack everyone elses too of course. You do you hair, nails, makeup and choose your cool poker clothing from the endless piles and you LEAVE!

“Goodbye, I love you, be good! See you when i am back in a few days” you mutter as you walk out the door. Inside you are cheering about your short escape. Really you can’t tell everyone that though, especially the little ones as they hold your leg so tightly it feels like it is going no where fast. Then, just like that; you are home free, you are on the felt, you are surrounded by countless amounts of other poker players and no kiddies.

Before long, all good things come to an end. You have finished your tourney play and you are headed straight back home. What do you expect to get home to bliss? I missed you? Flowers? Hugs?

You may well get home to some of these things, I got home to some other things as well though and this is the part in this blog I wanted to point out.

Returning home from a live poker tournament I also return to:

5 suitcases of clothing to unpack (mine plus 4 kids). That needs washing, folding, packing away and sorting.

3 days of envelopes to open

4000 emails

4 kids that expect 3 days worth of attention.

Nothing organised for school or dinner.

You pretty much get the hint I am sure; I return to a nightmare on Danielle street. Here is my thought:

Before you go playing live and distant games of poker where you have to uproot your whole family life. Be earning enough money so you can pay for a live in sitter. Seriously ladies there is no other way!

She’s been called “a different kind of diva” by Vogue Magazine and “a true visionary… one of the most important signings of my career” by Sean “Diddy” Combs. For singer, songwriter, and high funkstress Janelle Monáe, however, the impetus remains the same as it’s been since before her Grammy-nominated debut EP Metropolis, Suite I: The Chase captured the imaginations of fans and fellow artists. As she readies her first full-length LP, The ArchAndroid, her focus remains on stirring your soul, moving your feet and simply, creating good music.  Listen to two tracks from her The ArchAndroid album on Vixen Radio – including the single “Tightrope”  as heard on SYTYCD this week

My kids have given a new meaning to ass, or donkey as we call them in poker. A mum that plays online poker. I am forever being acused of being lazy by them. Sure; they like the money that it brings, they also like to brag about me being on radio and in magazines. At he same time as having these “likes” they sure do play against my job!

The children have adapted to having a mum that plays poker, I am not saying they havnt for a second. What they do not comprehend is their mum sitting in their home on a PC  12 hours a day (usually less but we will use 12 hours as a base). I ask them to do chores and find replies such as “Why should we, you have been sitting on your ass all day playing poker”. It makes me want to slap their cheeky mouths, it tilts me more then anything.

So, I have been thinking that an ass or a donkey in my kids eyes equates to someone who plays online poker in the comfort of their own home all day. “Hello to all the other asses out there lol”.

So, what to do? I have recently contemplated renting a small office. It sounds bizarre but will put real meaning to “Mum has worked all day long”. They will see me get dressed, go to work and come home again. I have also considered going and using my mums home office all day, just to “get out of the house” so i am not sitting on my “ass” playing poker all day.

I am sure that if I was working the hours I used to being up to 16 per day, sometimes 70 a week and also on call; they would believe that I was actually working. Right now; they don’t. I have no other further challenges with my children in respect to being criminal like etc. Just this! When I work out what to do, I will let all the other mums know exactly how to handle this issue. I could ask Annie Duke I guess at some stage, but Annie of course plays live as much as online I guess. I am again; an online player, or foremost an online player.

I am going to start in the morning by trying something new. I am going to get up, put a whole ton of makeup on and get dressed in 1 of my many feltstars outfits as I whisk them out the door to school. I will get them home and ask them to do their chores while I “finish work” and see how that goes. If it doesn’t work I think I will next try the “you get nothing of value trick as playing poker makes me an ass” theory lol. If this doesn’t work I think it is get a HAC (Hot Aussie Chick) office away from the house.

That’s all for now personal blog! Wish this little ass luck in becoming a child eating shark

Ok, so I’ve ignored my blog. I started it like many others to keep others updated on what is going on in my life, as a writing outlet and most importantly to help build myself up as a poker writer. The issues about writing my blog came in when I sat down to update it a few days later and started worrying about if what I had to say mattered to anyone but me. I really want it to be successful. I want people to be able to identify with it and I know I have a lot to say (just ask hubby….he’ll tell you) but what if no one cares?

I was thinking of my friend Danielle this morning she created an awesome site www.womenspokernews.com, got a sponsorship with FeltStars and continues to build herself and what she does to be the best. She definitely puts every thing out there to keep reaching and doing until she gets what she wants. She has a mindset that that is unwilling to settle for being the “bird behind the hand.” I think of her and of other successful (or are working on attaining success) women like my dear friends Maryann Morrison and Dianna Trigatzi who are consistently breaking new ground and I am amazed at how they push forward. Here they are selling themselves every day and working toward dreams while here I sit stressing over writing a blog.

One of my dreams is to make a name for myself in poker. Obviously not as a professional player. While my skills are fairly good…the logistics, time and ambition really aren’t there. I love the game and love to play but I live in Vermont, have a ton of family obligations and honestly I cannot imagine myself spending long periods of time in a poker room or at the computer on a daily basis. I just don’t have the personality that goes with it. The name I want is more media and behind the scenes. I want Women’s Poker Hour to be THE show that people listen to. I want my articles to bring readers to WPP and not the other way around and as I build on those I would love to get into organizing events both live and online.

Ever have that one time in your life when you knew you were in your element? When you were at your best? I cannot think of anything other than in Vegas with the UPC Ladies Event at Binions. While the credit for the success of that event goes to Maryann, I like to think that my contributions helped bring the event to what it was. I was able to talk to the players and organizers. I was able to connect with them on a different level to create relationships. (Schmoozing is the only word I can think of to describe it).  I don’t want to be in the spotlight per se; I’ll leave that to those who truly want it.

OK there. It is out there. I have written it down and though I haven’t hit the submit button yet, (yes, I am still talking myself out of hitting “delete”) I can feel my brain ticking on how to make it all happen. It is just a matter of taking the steps to do it. Now comes the hard part. Over coming the hesitancy and my unwillingness to step into something new because it might fail or be rejected.  I need to stop settling for what I don’t want and removing the stress, pressure and fear. Time to step it up and make those goals a reality, not through the success of others but through my own endeavors.

Well, in writing this I think I have found a new direction for my blog. I’m hoping women in all areas can relate to its content. While poker is definitely the focus I am hoping to draw encouragement from its readers as well as be able to encourage them In return.

Florence and the Machine

I love all this finding new talent (at least new to me).  Only on Vixen radio truly the best alternative female artists from all over the world.

Florence writes her best songs when she’s drunk or has a hangover, because that’s when the freedom, the feral music comes, creating itself wildly from the fragments gathered in her notebooks and in her head. “You’re lucid,” she explains, “but you’re not really there. You’re floating through your own thoughts, and you can pick out what you need. I like those weird connections in the universe. I feel that life’s like a consistent acid trip, those times when things keep coming back.”

Florence herself is a mass of contradictions: she’s tough yet she’s terrified, a bundle of nerves and passion, of darkness and pure joy. “I feel things quite intensely, which is why the music has to be so intense. I’m either really sad or really happy, I’m tired or completely manic. That’s when I’m at my most creative, but it’s also dangerous for me. I feel I could write some good songs, or break some hearts. Or tables. Or glasses.”

As a performer she can seem fearless, but she’s also far too quick to pass judgement on herself. This is the woman, after all who got into Camberwell art college by making a huge floral sign telling herself ‘You are a twat.’ She says she’s a geek, who loses all control when in love. She’s also something increasingly rare and precious in a time of karaoke pop: an artist who has found her own, authentic voice.

Her soaring, epic vocals, quirky melodies and self-contained musical world have already won her the 2009 Critics Choice Award at the Brits. Some compare her to Kate Bush. You’ll also find touches of Tom Waits and Nick Cave in her dark visions, and if you heard a little of Bjork too, she’d find it a compliment. But mainly, Florence is out on her own: an exhilarating place to be, she points out, but also a little scary.

Her debut album ‘Lungs’ is made of harps, choirs, drums, elevator shafts, bits of metal, love, death, fireworks, string quartets, stamping, sighing, strange electronic wailing, lambs, lions, sick, broken glass, blood, moon, stars, drink, coffins, teeth, water, wedding dresses.. and the silences in between. The songs are full of Gothic imagery, of fairytale flights of fantasy, and although much has been read into her lyrics, Florence says it’s usually simple. “Everything is about boys!” she laughs. “The whole album is about love – and pain. People see my lyrics as crazy, but to me it’s an honest, heartfelt album. I didn’t set out to be wacky. I just want it to be emotive.”  See Florence and the Machine official website at http://florenceandthemachine.net.  And look for videos in the Woman Poker Player community.

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It happens! It happens to all of us! No matter what we do the world seems against us. Everything that could go wrong, goes wrong especially in poker sometimes – we are alive but geeesh what a nightmare all the same. It is even more of a nightmare, dealing with domestic violence as crap unfolds in front of you!

When the world seems against me, which has happened a lot, I take it in my stride. I walk harder, faster, firmer to my desires. If someone tells me no, I try twice as hard. When I lose, I get back on the bike and go for a win. When I am sick, I rest for a little but carry on generally like I normally would. When finiances are rough, I work harder and play more poker to build them back up.

When my kids are unhappy as the world is stacking against them, I feel more sad then when it is against me. I show them my walk and my stride and tell them what I live with, what starving children globally live with and that things can only get better when they pace forwards.

I have had many moments of breakdown in the last 2 years, moments where I thought I was insane, when I was depressed, anxious and felt like giving up the battle in the world of poker. I felt like flipping burgers at McDonalds would be easier. Although I did cry, I do ask “why?” I did stop for a day or two, I got back to it and moved along more agressively on my poker path then before.

The world seems a lot more against me then for a lot of women. I have lived with domestic violence and it sux. Mental abuse gets you down, physical and emotional abuse tatter your soul that little bit more. I have not only had to fight my way in this world of poker but also in my own home. Poker is tough, tougher when you have mockery, attack, teasing and laughing from those thast you love about your goals, dreams and passions.

Playing a tournament while being verbally abused and emotionally attacked is tough. I don’t think there are many people that will know how tough it is. Playing when someone is disconnecting your internet or closing your laptop on you, tougher again obviously.

There is not a player in the world that can imagine what I have lived. What I do know, is I am still living, still striving, still moving forward regardless of horrific personal issues that I have faced. Women of the felt, step up! You do have the strength alike me, no matter how hard it seems. You can be the next big winner, sponsored pro, or poker success story. You just have to work on it; and work on it hard!

I once told a man that if he thinks he can scare me out of a hand or tilt me he is wrong. I am a tough cookie and it takes more then fear and words to throw me off my game. I have had more then the trash talk of a few little men to deal with as I have played. I have dodged projected objects and hands – human hands! All; while being called SL#T, B$TCH and  …. you get the hint.

Again; when the world seems it’s against me, I move forward stronger. NEVER give up on your passion! Giving up on your passion is giving up on yourself and that’s not a life for anyone. I kept moving and am now a pro at FeltStars. You can work on it too! To join FeltStars – Click Here: -> FELTSTARS

Welcome to Woman Poker Player Member Blogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!