Dear Margo: Two years post-divorce, I have been trying to date again. A nice man I have much in common with told me in October that he'd like to get to know me better, but nothing has come of it. Instead, he spends hours texting without trying to set up any sort of a date, sends inappropriate texts for the level of relationship we have, refuses to reveal his schedule or anything else that might aid in our dating — or in getting to know each other at all, for that matter. After four months of waiting, I feel that I should just move on. It seems that texting is the only relationship he has to offer. This is so sad. Can anything here be saved? — Sick of Texts

Dear Sick: Maybe your dignity. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. I am guessing that when this man "told" you he wanted to get to know you better, it was online. All he has to offer is texting. I would not be surprised if this time-wasting crackpot is a teenage boy or some random filbert who gets his jollies playing this sort of game. Too bad there seems to be four months down the tubes, but I will not linger too long on the length of time it took you to (dare I say it?) wake up and smell the coffee. — Margo, correctively

Being Related Does Not Guarantee Cordiality

Dear Margo: My dilemma involves my three siblings. I am the youngest and have a brother and two sisters, whom I'll refer to as "A" and "B." Sister A is an alcoholic. While none of us are close, we manage to attend holiday gatherings and remain cordial. All this changed when my mother died in 2006.

During the time she lived with me during her last year, sister A visited twice, and the other two sibs never visited until Mom was dying. When she died, she left her house to the four of us. Sister A moved in with her husband, a good man who had cancer and died within months. The house was trashed and full of her belongings, and it took a while before she was completely moved out, in 2008.

My cousin was named executrix of Mom's estate, and she too was in declining physical and mental health, although we did not know this for another year. She neglected Mom's estate, and sister A began a verbal and legal campaign against her. I chose not to join in this, which made her angry with me.

When my cousin died, I was named executrix. I kept in touch with my siblings about estate matters by e-mail, and sister A got the other two sibs on board and turned them against me, writing vitriolic e-mails to me voicing suspicions about the money involved, misuse of funds, etc. — all untrue. When I could no longer stand this, I turned the estate over to my brother.

As of today, the house is still on the market. Thousands of dollars have gone to paying taxes and bills, and there is no more money in the estate. There has been no criticism of my brother regarding the estate. So here's my dilemma: Should I make any effort to communicate with three siblings who have never shown the slightest interest in me? I love them all, yet I feel unloved. — Youngest Sibling

Dear Young: I think if I had three sibs who had "never shown the slightest interest in me," I would probably turn into one of those people who makes her friends her family. The level of dysfunction is high, so I would accept the situation for what it is: lousy. — Margo, yieldingly

Conversation Interruptus

Dear Margo: Is it ever OK to interrupt someone while they're talking? I admittedly interrupt people when I'm excited to share, so I'm not sure if I'm the best judge. My boyfriend, however, never interrupts. It's a quality I admire in him, but I disagree with his stance that it's never OK. Tonight, for instance, I got a call from the cable company. As soon as the operator started in with a spiel about upgrading my plan, I interrupted her to say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested. Have a good night." She said, "Thank you," and the phone call ended politely. My boyfriend thinks it was rude to stop her since she was just doing her job.

Another example: If I repeat a story to my boyfriend that he's already heard, he feels it would be rude — and thinks I would get angry (I wouldn't) — if he were to interrupt me and say, "I know, that's great, you told me about that." He's also unwilling to even say "uh-huh" or "wow" while I'm talking. Who's right? Is it OK to interrupt? — Differing on Conversational Styles

Dear Diff: My dear, what your fella calls "interrupting" most people call "conversation." Another phrase for it is "give and take." Oftentimes, a "wow" or an "uh-huh" is a social signal that the person with you is alive and listening; that is not considered interrupting. I will say this: He is certainly kind and generous to let telemarketers go through their whole spiel on the phone. Most people do not do that, yours truly included.

I think perhaps a way into this little disagreement is to invite him to tell you — at the moment he knows you are recycling a story — that you have already told him. As for redoing his total approach to interrupting, I suspect that cannot be done. — Margo, understandingly

When the Path of Least Resistance Is the One To Take

Dear Margo: I recently got married to a great guy who happens to be the younger brother of one of my dearest friends, "Donna". She is a doll, and I've seen her get taken advantage of many times in the past. On the other hand, my husband's elder sister, "Edie," has a history of selfishness and destruction. She, her ex-con husband and their two chaotic children were all living in the basement of Donna's house for several months without contributing a dime. They moved out just before Christmas and left behind several hundred dollars' worth of damage and a few personal items, including a collection of Mary Kay products still in the original packaging.

My mother, my husband and I were at Donna's house on Christmas Day, talking with her fiance (and co-owner of the house) about Edie's behavior, when my mother said she really liked the Mary Kay products Edie had left. Impulsively, I offered to buy the products from Donna's fiance. He accepted gratefully, and we all agreed that this was the best way to make up for a bad situation.

Now, of course, Edie is making a fuss about the missing cosmetics, and Donna is upset and wants me to return the items and refund my money. Besides the fact that I gave all the products to my mother and sister, which means they've been opened and are unsellable, I don't think I should have to return them. What do you think I should do? — Roswell, Ga.

Dear Ros: I suppose you could tell her to take a hike and consider the cosmetics a partial payment for the damage, but why prolong the agony? Return the items, opened and used, and end the discussion. I'm sure your mother and sister will agree it's a small price to pay for peace and quiet. — Margo, sensibly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

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