I cannot keep buying different brands of pantyhose and experimenting hoping to find good support, so I am asking for some advice on which brand and type of pantyhose would best support my legs. Also, I will be wearing dress pants over them. Is there a way to prevent them from making noise? Thank you for your attention to this matter. — Richard L.

Dear Rich: Well ... the first thing that occurs to me is that the L'eggs people will be thrilled that you have perhaps opened up a new market for them, i.e., pantyhose for men who are on their feet for a long time. Since you say that brand gives you the better fit of all the ones you've tried, there is no need to keep buying and experimenting.

As for my suggestions, I have none — probably because I have no brand loyalty. But I also don't have your, uh, groin. Regrettably, I can't think of a way to stop the p-hose from making a noise, and now that you mention it, I can't think of what noise they make. I would suggest you also look into shoes that make standing more comfortable, and I certainly wish you good luck with all of this. — Margo, comfortably

There's No Accounting for Some Behavior

Dear Margo: I am married to a great guy. Generally, our relationship works. However, in the past six months, I have been getting cash advances on my credit cards and gambling. I'm really not a gambler, but since hubby is the sole "breadwinner," I have been looking to find my own money that does not need to be accounted for down to the penny. He's an accountant, and I'm at home with our son, making stupid choices to fill my time.

Long story short, I came clean this past weekend and have paid all the credit card debt off via a line of credit with a lower interest rate. I know I need to fill my time in much better and more productive ways, and I have enrolled in university for later in the month. I got a call today from my parents that knocked me for a loop. My husband emailed them our whole financial history, and now I have to deal with their disappointment, as well as his. Please advise. — Feeling Punished

Dear Feel: First, the idea of having money of one's own by winning it is most unusual. You are lucky you bagged that activity before you got hooked. (Usually, the routine is people lose, then they keep playing whatever it is they're playing to get even ... and then they lose some more. (That's why Gamblers Anonymous meetings are so crowded.)

As for your great guy husband cluing your parents in, that sounds quite punitive to me, and I would be curious as to his answer when you asked why he did that. (And if you haven't asked, you should.) I am trying to imagine a reasonable explanation — and I can't. As for helping your parents get beyond their disappointment, simply tell them you learned an expensive lesson, but the good news is that it propelled you back to school. And tell Mr. TMI that you believe your finances as a couple are a private matter and he was not being helpful. — Margo, confidentially

Custody Complications

Dear Margo: My ex and I had a daughter 10 and a half years ago. He was verbally abusive and extremely controlling, and I ended the relationship during my pregnancy. He was very unstable during the first six years of her life due to drug use. I tried to maintain some contact between the two of them and personally accompanied my daughter when she would see him. I truly want her to have both parents in her life and to know she is loved. Her father has not been consistent, either with visitation or child support in the past four and a half years, but there has been progress, and in his mind, that was grounds to take me to court and sue for custody two years ago. The outcome was that her father is able to take her for a few weeks during the summer and has visitation every other weekend — essentially what we already had been doing.

Since this court date, he has continued to be inconsistent and does not follow the order. However, he still wants to control everything and frequently sends me texts about going back to court and getting full custody if I don't bend to his every demand. I feel completely shaken and angry each time he sends me a message. There are many reasons why this situation is upsetting, but the main one is that my daughter deserves better. Getting a lawyer is a luxury I cannot afford. Do you have any suggestions to make this as painless as possible and minimize the effects on my daughter? — Wanting To Handle this Better

Dear Want: I would document what you have told me about his being inconsistent, not following court orders, and being abusive and delinquent. Rather than gaining full custody, I suspect you might be able to get him cut back or possibly cut out. You are good to want your daughter to have two parents and to know she is loved, but her father sounds like a negative force in her life, and feeling loved does not require both parents. As for finances, I would try a Legal Aid lawyer, or go to court "pro se," which means for yourself. This is not an unusual occurrence in family court. If you document the history, I believe you might even get an order that he not text you. Good luck. — Margo, proactively

Do Not Hit "Send"

Dear Margo: Because of where I am now (1,000 miles from where I usually live), I wonder if I could email my girlfriend that I want out. I will be here for another two months. We've been together for three years, there's nothing going on in the relationship, and now it's kind of like a habit. I'm not into her anymore, but I think she may have more positive feelings about me.

The reason I don't want to phone her is that I don't want to get into an argument or have to deal with her maybe crying. I would never text, of course, because I know that would be kind of insensitive. But I think email is a little more formal. What do you think? — Wanting To Start Again

Dear Want: I think breaking up by email would be rude and awful. Would you like to read an email from a girlfriend that the jig was up after three years? I don't think so. If you are intent on hiding from a conversation, at the very least write a letter. This was done often "in the olden days," though I have a hunch those letters were a little more poetic than yours might be. Be as gentle as you can, and say that you seem to have grown apart. — Margo, considerately

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.