Dear Margo: I am a 16-year-old boy who has been wondering if it's bad that I question if there is really a God. I mean, I do believe in him, but there are times I am uncertain. I guess I'm asking: What if he doesn't exist, and we spent our lives believing in nothing? Then again, what if we spend our lives not believing and he really is true? I guess I just don't want to make a mistake and choose the wrong way to think. Thanks for listening. — Confused Teen

Dear Con: Your question and your thinking have landed on Pascal's Wager: "Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation that He is."

I believe it is possible, also, to believe in God — or an equivalent force — without following any particular religion. I must say, you don't sound confused to me, but, rather, questioning and thoughtful, which are the qualities that account for the scientific and moral progress we've made over time. Perhaps you will become a philosopher. — Margo, approvingly

Psst, the Old Wife Is Jealous and Not Happy

Dear Margo: I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for four years, and we've lived together for the past two. The problem is with his not-quite-ex-wife. They were separated for two years before I met "Hal." Their daughter is soon to be married. She and I get along well. When she first started planning the wedding, she let her mother know I was invited. The mother was angry for two weeks; she did not want me at the wedding. Well, she got over that.

The other day, when Hal called to tell me she asked that I not sit in the front row during the ceremony, I kind of understood (although, naturally, I would prefer to sit with him rather than behind him). But then, when the invitation came for the rehearsal dinner, she called him to ask that I not go to the dinner. I suggested to him that we take his two nephews out to dinner that night. Nope, can't do that because they are going to the rehearsal dinner. So Hal is not going to the dinner, and I am having trouble getting over being angry and hurt by the situation. I didn't steal her husband, and in fact, we've never even met. How can I get over this? — Gnashing My Teeth

Dear Gnash: As for not stealing her husband, merely showing up after their car wreck of a marriage is enough for some dames to hold it against you anyway. (I have been the victim of this myself.) It is irrational, so forget it. It often means she is lonesome and probably wishes she had him back. And I actually don't think you have a problem. That the father of the bride is skipping the rehearsal dinner means you have nothing to be angry or hurt about. He took your side, which is lovely. As for where you sit at the wedding, this request you can honor. I have been at weddings where the m-o-b has no s.o. and the father is romantically involved. Enough said. — Margo, maturely

When Leaving the Nest Is Hard

Dear Margo: My sister is two years older than me, so when she went away to college, I was still at home with our parents. Last year, I graduated high school and went away to college. I immediately became concerned about my parents. They only had two kids, and I knew that once we were both gone, they were going to be lonely. Last year, I went home for many weekends to see them and my friends. Now that I'm in my second year of college, I've tried not to go home as often so I can focus on studies and having relationships with people at school. However, I'm still as concerned as ever about my parents.

My dad has mentioned how bored he gets at night after my mom goes to bed, leaving him with nothing to do but watch TV. Basically, without my sister and me, I know they only work, sleep and watch TV. I think about them a lot and worry that they are bored, lonely and depressed because nobody is home. I've suggested they get a puppy or try new hobbies, and they say they work so much that they don't have the energy for a hobby. Sometimes my mom begs me to come home for the weekend. Is there anything I can do? — Worried Student

Dear Wor: I don't know if your parents are playing the violin of loneliness because their girls have flown the coop or if you are having empty nest syndrome on their behalf. In any case, people do not have children for the purpose of having them stick around forever to save them from boredom. In a few years, you or your sister could wind up across the country for either work or marriage, so let your time at college be guilt-free. If your Mom is leaning on you, stick to your guns and say you need to be at school, and then continue encouraging them along the lines of puppy, hobby and friends. If they are in a rut, it is their rut, and that's just the way things are. — Margo, stalwartly

Things Happen, Things Change

Dear Margo: "Clara" and I have been friends for 10 years. We have shared everything in good times and bad, and since we live in different states, we talk a lot on the phone. However, she has changed drastically. All she does is talk about herself. The minute I pick up the receiver, she will start with her complaints, and I cannot get a single word in. I have tried not answering the phone. That doesn't work because she'll keep on calling, and the ringing drives me crazy! I've told her I am busy and it's not a good time to talk. Then she says I am selfish and am never there for her when she needs me. And wait till you hear this: She has started sleeping around.

I told her I absolutely do not agree with this and don't want to know about these encounters. At this, she got mad, saying who was I to judge her, etc. I'm beginning to detest this woman and the sound of her voice. I think she is suffering from depression and have told her this many times. At this, she says my job is to help her out of it. I don't think so. She needs professional help, and I cannot spend every waking minute talking to her and listening to her escapades. I no longer want anything to do with her, but my husband says I am being mean. — Gloria

Dear Glo: You know, dear, friendship is not a lifetime contract. Leave your husband out of the deliberations, and when you can get a word in edgewise, tell this woman that you have tried to be a friend to her, that you are ill-equipped to be a therapist, that she must find a real one, and that the nature of your relationship has changed so much that you would like to take a break. If she persists with the phone calls, it is acceptable to say you are taking a break — as you have explained to her — and you are now going to hang up. — Margo, unwaveringly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.