The affair has come to his attention, and he's willing to work through it, but said I have to end my relationship with my best friend. She and I have ended our physical relationship while I am sorting things out with my husband, but she's continued to be a source of support. The thought of ending things with her makes me physically ill. Part of me wants to walk away from my husband and pursue this exhilarating love, but I am scared and sad at the thought of ending a semi-happy six-year relationship for something that is so new and foreign to me. — Betwixt and Between

Dear Be: This will strike some as radical, but I am going to leave gender out of the equation. What you are contemplating is leaving one partner for another. Because you say you've had problems throughout this six-year relationship, you believe this woman to be the love of your life, you are experiencing happiness you never thought possible, and you feel physically ill at the thought of losing her, I would recommend you try to upgrade from "semi-happy" and go for it. — Margo, audaciously

No Reason To Feel Disloyal

Dear Margo: After 28 years of marriage and many good times with my parents, my mother has decided she never liked my husband. She now says she doesn't even want him in her house! This makes me feel disloyal when I visit. My mother needs emotional support because of her age (79) and a husband (82) who is not well. I can't just walk away because my siblings aren't even in this country. What to do? — Kind of Torn

Dear Kind: It seems to me that after nearly 30 years, your mother "deciding" she's never liked your husband is an indication of a few screws loose, courtesy of old age. I am assuming your spouse has not suddenly landed on the 10 Most Wanted list. The fact that she's approaching 80 and only recently decreed your husband unlikable suggests to me that she is undergoing neurological changes. What I hope is happening is that your husband is mature enough to encourage you to hang in there, as the only child easily accessible to your mother and her husband, and continue the visits without him. I also hope he looks on the upside of skipping those visits. If I had an in-law who, after almost three decades, decided I was persona non grata, it would be my great pleasure to stay home. — Margo, acceptingly

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2010 MARGO HOWARD