But Who's Counting?!
Dear Margo: I am a 65-year-old man who's enjoyed a great sex life, from the age of 16, with more than 400 women. I am writing you about the wives who write about their husbands having affairs. You women just don't get it. We are doing what we were programmed to do.
The primary function of the male of the species is to breed. I married my first wife when I was 24. Shortly after the wedding, her sister and two of her best friends came on to me. When I told my wife about their behavior, she got mad at me and said these women would never do such a thing.
Two years later, I had sex with my neighbor's wife, and she told my wife, thinking I would marry her if we got divorced.
Men felt Tiger Woods did nothing wrong. You women need to grow up and face the truth. When your husband has sex with another woman, he is not cheating; he is following his biology. I could go on and tell you more, but I don't have the time right now because there is a married woman a few blocks away waiting for me. — Patrick (with a phone number!)
Dear Pat: Assuming you are sober, let me just say this: You were not meant to populate the earth single-handedly. You've misunderstood something along the way. I feel certain I am not the only one to take issue with your "theory" of biology. Also, your concentration on sex is such that you might want to look into finding a hobby. The one you have, I assure you, will not go on forever. — Margo, amusedly
High School Can Be Rough, in More Ways than One
Dear Margo: I'm a high-school senior, ready to graduate. I attend high school in Southern California, where I have been living these past four years, but I am from San Francisco. I've tried to establish a place for myself, but every attempt I've made to connect has gone to waste. There are only 20 students in my graduating class, and I can honestly say that I have nothing to do with them except for a quick "hello" in the mornings. The friends I did have are no longer friends because they've proved to be untrustworthy and mean.
I feel like a nomad. I don't belong anywhere — not at school, not in this city and, quite honestly, not even in my hometown. I am floating around from place to place, trying to find something or someone I can connect with. I'm going to graduate with a group of people who might as well be strangers. I don't want to live the rest of my life this way, considering how high school has turned out for me. Do you have any advice as to how I could improve this situation for later on? — Loser
Dear Lose: I would not subscribe to the word "loser," and you shouldn't, either. With no more details than what you wrote, it is entirely possible that you are sensitive and living with the fabled "mean girls" of high-school lore. Twenty is a very small class, and my guess is that most of these kids were together before high school. (And Southern California can be, shall we say, a curious place. Do not ask me how I know this.)
I know some terrific adults who had a tough time in school and felt out of it, but they matured into integrated adults with many friends. My general advice for college is to get to know people who seem solid and then evince a real interest in them and what they have to say. Listening, I have found, is a great friend magnet. — Margo, forwardly
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
COPYRIGHT 2010 MARGO HOWARD