Last year he told me he was interested in playing again, and I gave him the go-ahead under the conditions that we would play together on a different server. That didn't work out so well (I'm so not a gamer chick), so eventually the two of them started talking again and are now playing together again. I finally coerced my boyfriend into admitting that this girl is "here to stay" in our life together, but I still can't get the idea to sink into my head.

I know my boyfriend loves me, and we've discussed getting married, but I just can't seem to shake whatever issue it is I have with this girl. This isn't the first time I've had to rebuild my trust in him, so I'm wondering if I'm standing on the last straw that's about to break. — Gamer's Girlfriend

Dear Game: Women of a certain age (that would be me) are not "gamer chicks," so bear in mind that you and I are from different generations. Looking at your situation, however, from my experience (not with games, with men), I would say that any guy who is seriously mixed up with playing a game online (forget the partner-player who is a thorn in your side) would be a no-go. Also, because you say this isn't the first time he has cast a shadow on his trustworthiness, I would agree with you that the last straw is about to break, and we will skip the reference to the camel's back. — Margo, recommencingly

It Is Called "Co-Parenting" for a Reason

Dear Margo: I've been married to my husband for 10 years. We have two kids, ages 5 and 2, and another on the way. We both work full-time jobs and only have weekends off. It seems that lately hubby's always off playing golf or working out for hours at a time on the weekends. I get so irritated because I'm stuck at home looking after the kids while he's elsewhere having fun. I rarely have any free time on the weekends because he's off "doing his thing." By the time he gets home, we both do "family time" with the kids.

I just want to know whether I'm being unreasonable to expect him not to have his "alone time" on the weekends. Do you think I should just let him do this because he's a good provider and father otherwise? — Wanting To Be Fair

Dear Want: It is hard for me to know exactly how much your husband is absenting himself on the weekends. If you feel as though he's entertaining himself away from the house all of Saturday and Sunday during daylight hours and his picture should be on a milk carton, then by all means tell him you'd like some time to yourself, as well, and suggest that some adjustment is called for.

If it's only part of a day, tell him the same thing: You would like some time to yourself. Then work out a flexible schedule. I do not think anyone should constantly be with little kids without a break if they can possibly help it. — Margo, fairly

Another Monster-in-Law

Dear Margo: I am currently engaged to a man I love everything about (well, most everything). However, his mother, who I refer to as "monster-in-law," tries to control everything. My fiance and I have a baby together, and his mother stepped in, even before the baby was born, to tell me what I had to do. For instance, she told me I was not to potty-train my child until she was 3 because she would not be ready until then. She is constantly trying to control everything, including the job my fiance has!

This is not OK with me. We have our own life with our own home, and I would like to live it that way. I've tried talking to her about invading our privacy, but forget that. She even resorted to calling our daughter a "mistake," saying she was born out of sin because we were not married. We were both hurt by this. My guy has tried to talk to her, but then she won't talk to us for weeks. She brags about her other grandchildren but not our daughter because she is ashamed that we weren't married. I want our daughter to know her grandparents, but she doesn't need to feel less loved. Suggestions? — Not Getting Through

Dear Not: Good grief, pardon the oxymoron. What a battleaxe you wound up with, and a Bible-toting one at that. The only bright spot in your letter was that when her son brought up her attitude and her meddling, the result was that she wouldn't talk to you for weeks.

For one thing, the potty-training age she has set is late, by some people's lights, and the sin thing is way off the mark. If you cannot get her to tone down her opinions and judgmental pronouncements, I would keep mentioning your privacy and enjoying weeks and weeks at a time with no communication. A granny who thinks the kid is a bastard is so 18th century. — Margo, reinforcingly

When a Bargain Should Be Broken

Dear Margo: I've been married for almost seven years. When we married, I was 25, and the deal was that we'd wait until I was 30 to have kids. I honestly thought I'd get used to the idea of settling down and having a kid (or two). I'm now almost 33 and know that I don't want kids.

I just don't think I was meant to have any, and I like my life the way it is now. I feel horribly guilty, not only because I agreed to have them when we got married, but also because my husband is a great person who doesn't deserve to be hurt. I'm having a hard time thinking straight these days, because on some days, I feel like I need to confess and then give him the option of getting out of the marriage. On other days, I feel like I should just go ahead and have a kid and hope and pray that everything turns out OK. He says he thinks about having kids every single day. Ironically, this issue is exactly what led to the dissolution of both of my parents' first marriages. I haven't been able to talk about this with anybody, and it's tearing me up. — Jennifer

Dear Jen: Interesting that family history is repeating itself. I would never encourage anyone to go ahead and have a child from a sense of obligation. It wouldn't work out for you or the offspring. Parenting is tough enough without feeling you were lassoed into it. I would level with your husband. My hunch is that if he thinks about being a dad "every single day," the two of you will agree to part. — Margo, rationally

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2010 MARGO HOWARD