Dear Sit: She is not certifiably crazy; she is either a pathological liar or trying to put herself in a life she is pretending to have. (For one thing, it makes no sense that she could adopt the children, not being married to the bf.) Here's what I would do: I would say to the woman with the imagined life that it turns out that your husband has known her boyfriend for many years. And say no more. This might tone down all the "reports." As for the co-workers, the kind thing to do would be to not rat her out. However, I also believe that no one owes anyone else silence about lies, so do what your gut tells you. — Margo, fantastically

Riding Around with Evel Knievel

Dear Margo: My best friend, whom I love dearly, is a terrible driver! Riding with her on the freeway scares me to death. She drives a minivan and feels she can weave in and out of traffic just because her "car can handle it." Just the other day, her family and I were coming back from a road trip, and she almost killed us at least four times. I told her that her driving induces panic attacks, but she still drives the same way, even with her 6-year-old son in the car. How do I get through to her? — Terrified Passenger

Dear Terr: Sorry to break the news to you, but neither you nor anyone else can get through to her. She's a daredevil with a death wish, or she's just plain stupid ... erroneously believing her car can protect her. I suggest you refuse to ride with her. Riding with a dangerous driver is not worth panic attacks, injury or death. — Margo, confidently

Survivor's Guilt in the Workplace

Dear Margo: I am a 57-year-old woman. Three years ago, I was laid off by the large corporation for which I had worked for 30 years. I was lucky enough to have been recruited for an excellent job not long afterward, and I'm enjoying my new job and making good money. (I consider my new job a combination of dumb luck plus the job skills and college degrees I have accumulated over the years.)

Many of my friends, women of my age, have also been laid off. Almost all of them are still unemployed or underemployed (short hours, low pay, etc.). What's the best way to try to come to their aid when they ask for help? I try to be encouraging: I offer to help with resumes, remind them of their skills, suggest job fairs and temp agencies, point out company websites that post job openings, advise them to put their resumes online with places like Monster, and so on.

I feel awful for them. These are some of the most hardworking, intelligent, ethical people I have ever met, and we all have the bad luck to live in an expensive state whose economy has tanked. Moving elsewhere is not an option for any of them. Please tell me how I can help them. I am experiencing survivor's guilt over their plight, which so easily could have happened to me. — One of the Gals

Dear One: I salute you for your concern for your friends. It sounds as though you're doing everything possible to help them get resituated and offer hope. Because you can't write checks to all these people, I would continue to be on the lookout on their behalf, to go out for a pick-me-up dinner every so often, and to encourage them not to be shy about unemployment insurance — because they have paid for it. These really are terrible times for many people, but I hope you get over your guilt about being one of the fortunate ones. It was just the luck of the draw. — Margo, understandingly

Memories, an Old Shirt and an Ugly Figurine

Dear Margo: I recently went through a breakup with a guy I'd been seeing for six months. (We're both out of school and new to the workforce.) During the good times, it was great. We clicked and laughed together. He was a huge part of my social life. We ended on so-so terms. He was leaving town and didn't think a future was possible. I was hurt, but accepted his reasoning. The day we broke up was the last time I heard from him.

With every breakup I've had before, there's been something more — a follow-up e-mail the next day, or a week later you wish each other well and tell the other how important they were, etc. But that never happened. My apartment has scattered bits of him: an old shirt, photos from his holiday party, an ugly "Never Change" figurine he bought me. I need to deal with this since he's about to leave town (I hear from friends), but I'm torn about how best to do it. It's not just his stuff; it's also the hurt that he ended things so thoughtlessly. I've thought about shipping him all his things with a note outlining my resentment at being so easily dropped from his life. I've also thought about just burning everything in some feminist rah-me ceremony. What to do? — Bruised Feelings

Dear Bruise: One thing not to do is send him the old shirt and the ugly figurine. Those can be for the "feminist rah-me ceremony." As for the photos ... send them if you're so inclined, but with no note stating your resentment. You will gain nothing. (Perhaps write a scorcher and show it to your girlfriends.) There is one of two things at work here. He is feeling guilty to the point where he cannot bring himself to be in touch, or he's a clod, in which case the romance is no loss. Trust me, given your age, there will be more beaux, more breakups and finally a wonderful guy who is "the one." — Margo, forwardly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.