Now I have another problem. I reconnected with my first love, but he lives in another state. I so want to move out there to be with him, but I don't know what to do about Mom. I would only be gone three or four months of the year. (The rest of the time I would be living here with Mom.) I'm hoping to be with him this month. He is very understanding and hopeful. He is 64 and retiring this year, and I'm 61 and want to make a life on my own with him. What can I do? — Wanting a Life

Dear Want: While I'm sure it is your wish, and perhaps even your obligation, to do the right thing by your mother, you need not sacrifice your life or your emotional well-being on the altar of this terrible disease. For guidance, I would get in touch with your local Alzheimer's Association or go online, if necessary. They have advice and know the ropes. You may have to forget your mother's "preference" for no strangers in the house. In a very real sense, she is not in her right mind. One good resource for learning about free or low-cost services, government programs and more is www.healthcaresurvivalguide.com. I hope you and your first love find a way. — Margo, empathetically

Some Things Are Just Bad Luck

Dear Margo: I was hired to teach at a small school when the former teacher decided to take a different job. They knew I was a first-year teacher when they hired me, but they called me their top candidate and seemed happy to have me. The job was very challenging, as you would expect, but every day I turned myself inside-out to do my best. I was punctual, friendly and diligent, and I did everything I could to be a team player.

Today, without any warning, I was told I was being let go because the other teacher wanted her job back. I was also told that I could be paid as a substitute for a week if I agree to help the other teacher transition back, and that they would keep me on the "sub list" permanently if I wanted that. I received no negative feedback at all, aside from being told that I should think about continuing to develop a commanding presence and should strive to build relationships with my co-workers in the future.

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. My husband thinks we should pursue a wrongful termination suit, but that seems a cruel thing to do to a school, especially a charter school. I just want to figure out how to move forward, professionally and emotionally. — Sub-Standard Teacher

Dear Sub: I am not a lawyer, but my instinct tells me you do not have a claim because you are clearly less experienced than the teacher who left and wanted to come back. You might check with the teachers union. As for staying on their terms, you'll have to decide whether that offers you the road to achieving your goal. I find it kind of unusual that someone can leave a job, want it back and get it. I do think you can get beyond this by understanding that this was not a dastardly deed aimed at you, in particular. Life happens, my dear, and I predict a successful future for you. — Margo, progressively

The problem I am having is that she is "in love" with this person and wants to have a relationship with him again. They made a "plan" to wait until she is 21 and almost finished with college to try it again. Until then, she is supposed to see other people so that she will know what she wants. I have told her that as long as her father and I are responsible for her, she will have nothing more to do with him, and I refuse to drop the charges. Her father is ready to kick her to the curb when she turns 18, but I cannot find it in me to turn her away. Am I doing the right thing? — Stressed to the Limit

Dear Stress: Encourage her "plan" to wait until she's 21 and well into college life. In the next four years, if she can't come up with a better love interest than someone who's 13 years older with a rap sheet, then there's nothing to be done. If she sticks to the bargain, things are in your favor — well, really in her favor. You and your husband would be doing the right thing by using tough love (the curb thing) if she doesn't uphold her end of the bargain. — Margo, watchfully

Stinky "Friends"

Dear Margo: I am 47, the mother of three great kids, with a wonderful husband. Now that my kids are older, I've decided to pursue the career I always wanted: nursing. I was accepted into a nursing program, and it turned out that I was able to get financial aid to help pay for it. I couldn't be happier that I have been given this amazing opportunity.

The problem? I had every intention of keeping my job as a teacher's aide at a high school in another town, but after attending a few of the nursing classes and speaking with the career counselor, I realized the workload would be too much and I needed to choose one or the other. I chose nursing. I knew it was last minute, so I offered to work until a replacement was found, but they accepted my resignation "effective immediately."

Now my former colleagues, who I thought were my friends, will not call me back. I have called and sent e-mails and Facebook messages asking how they are doing, but I have yet to receive an answer. Needless to say, I am heartbroken. My husband says there is nothing more I can do and I should just let it go, but I am struggling with this, feeling both guilty and sad. — Future Nurse

Dear Fu: I hope you can bag feeling guilty, because you have not only chosen a noble profession, but it was your dream. Being a teacher's aide, in your situation, would not give you the satisfaction that nursing would. People are allowed to change jobs. The short notice is unfortunate, but there you are. The colleagues, alas, were not really friends, and your husband is correct. I find it rather unattractive that the people at school could not see the big picture and be happy for you. — Margo, fulfillingly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.